


I’ve Lost Control (And I Don’t Want It Back)

by HunterByDayWhovianByNight



Category: Coriolanus (2011), Coriolanus - Shakespeare
Genre: Blow Jobs, Enemies to Lovers, Hand & Finger Kink, Head Shaving, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23843362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight
Summary: "I hate and love. And why, perhaps you’ll ask. I don’t know: but I feel, and I’m tormented.” ―CatullusIt was impossible for Coriolanus to know why he fell prey to Aufidius.
Relationships: Tullus Aufidius/Caius Martius | Coriolanus (Coriolanus)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	I’ve Lost Control (And I Don’t Want It Back)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I just added Coriolanus to the list of plays I'm writing about in my thesis! I wrote this in the midst of writing my final papers a couple weeks ago, one of which was on the intersection of violence, eroticism, and queerness in Ralph Fiennes' film adaptation of the play! Please enjoy this fic. Title is from "Nicotine" by Panic! at the Disco.
> 
> ~Hunter
> 
> P.S.: There is listening material to accompany the reading material! Find my Coriolanus / Aufidius playlist [here!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37JAoqH9lsSn1jZTysjvEG?si=YeM6M4bsRmq1N-UgOqjIJg)

When Aufidius shaved my head, I could not help but stare at his abdomen. At his groin. At the large knife on his hip. Where I was, sat on the bench in front of him, it was in perfect view of my eyes. His hand, his large, strong hand, held my head, manipulated it as needed so that he could work. If he had pulled my face into his groin, demanded I suck him off, I would have fallen to my knees and scrambled to unzip his trousers. The way his hand held my head, firmly and with just the right amount of pressure, made me breathe so much easier. _I have not felt this free in so long_ , I thought to myself as the buzz and whir of the clippers sounded through my ears. I wanted to moan when he gently pushed my head down; it was so easy for him to move me around and bend me to his ministrations. I shivered at the thought of him manhandling me, much like he did when we wrestled in Corioles. I wanted him to move me, rough me up, hold me, hold me _down._ I would let him. 

I thought to myself brazenly, _I would be submissive for him if he asked._

I felt Aufidius’ hand on the top of my head raise it up slightly as he put aside the clippers, but I did not look up yet. I felt his rough hand pass over my entire head, bare as a slave’s would have been, and drag his fingers behind my right ear, to rest below my jaw. He tilted my face up with three of his fingers, forcing me to look into his eyes from my seated position. I felt those three fingers acutely pressed against the sensitive skin of my neck. His pointer and middle fingers holding it up, the pad of his thumb pressed just below my jawline. I felt my lips instinctually part and my eyes widen in submission. I had to hold my tongue back in my mouth to keep myself from licking my lips; it would have shown how desperate I was for him. I held onto the thin fabric of my towel as tightly as I could, trying not to reach out for his hips or hands. My heart raced and threatened to tear through the bone and muscle and skin of my chest. I tried to plead with my eyes that I wanted him, that I needed him.

He seemed to have got my silent message.

“Kiss me, Martius.”

I didn’t have to be asked twice. I stood abruptly and held onto Aufidius’ waist, bracing myself for the intensity of his kiss. He inhaled in shock against my lips before grabbing my face with both of his hands posessively. He deepened our kiss, pulling my body closer to his. I felt the hilt of his knife press into my unclothed abdomen uncomfortably. I moaned into the kiss, and felt him do the same. I opened my mouth in a gasp, and felt him breathe hotly into it. When our lips met again, our tongues collided, and he tilted my head back forcefully. Claiming me. I felt him move me away from the bench and slam my back up against the nearest wall. I hit it with a thud and a whimper, betraying just how much I wanted him to do this to me. I felt his cock growing harder against my hip and let my arms fall to my side in submission. It felt so natural to submit to Aufidius in that moment that I wondered why I had resisted doing so before. I craned my head back, pulling away from his kiss, and baring my neck to him once again. He sunk his teeth into the skin, making me gasp aloud; he chuckled darkly against my neck, scoring his nails down my bare arms. 

“Do you want me, Martius?” Aufidius asked, his voice rough with arousal. He slotted his leg between mine, rubbing his muscular thigh against my groin, rendering the towel around my waist useless. He eased his way past it and between my legs. He made me feel his half-hard cock against my jutting hip bone, made my own cock jump at the contact of his rough trousers against it. He let his hands travel down my shoulders, grab hold of my biceps, and pin me to the wall. I shuddered, visibly, at his dominance over me. I looked into his eyes and found that I had to slightly tilt my head up to look directly into them. I had not noticed before (and that shocked me) that he was only a few inches taller than me. Just enough for me to notice, for it to matter. I nodded frantically to his question, wanting his hands, his mouth, his body. I wanted to be smothered by him. Fucked. It didn’t matter how.

“Could you beg for it, or are you too proud? Let me hear you,” Aufidius said huskily, leaning in to kiss my neck again. His accent, gravelly and foreign to me, was even sexier than it usually was. There was something about the way his accent naturally emphasized _beg for it_ that made me want him even more. That time, he left feather-light whispers of kisses on my neck that made me shiver and squirm under his hold, the rough wall digging into my back. I screwed my eyes shut and tried to breathe. 

“Aufidius,” I said, breathing out his name and shuddering. My breath caught in my throat and I felt arrested by my inability to breathe properly and to even move, but when Aufidius let go of my biceps and dropped them to my hips, holding onto them loosely, I felt that this was fine. This was perfect. It felt right. 

“Yes?”

“Aufidius,” I repeated, needier and with a reedy whine in the back of my throat. I felt ablaze, on fire with need and want for the man pinning me to the wall. Aufidius teasingly began to grind our hips together, forcing a stray moan out of my mouth. He hummed in amusement as I met his hips with mine, clearly pleased that I was so responsive to his ministrations. 

“What, Martius? What do you need?” Aufidius asked, one of his hands removed from my hip and cradling my face in his palm. It was rough, yet oddly soothing, against my freshly-shaved cheek. It felt battle-worn and masculine, and I recalled the many times when I fucked my own hand after we had a fight, remembering how he pinned me with his powerful hands. I opened my eyes and looked into his, seeing that there was a calm blueness in them, so different from the intense iciness I was used to finding there. I felt a smile, painful and unusual to the muscles of my face, begin to spread as I gazed into his eyes. 

“I need you,” I said, curling my fingers against the cold wall and taking a deep breath. “I just need you.”

“How do you need me?” Aufidius asked, keeping his eyes on mine as his free fingers pulled off my towel, leaving me bare before him. His hand was so close to my hardening cock that I was certain if he brushed it right, I would be fully stiff. I hardly felt the need to blush before him. After all, we had wrestled together many times during the wars and felt each other harden with the lust of battle and the lack of touch. But then I recalled that all of his senators and officers were right next door. It made me shudder in a perverse kind of pleasure. 

“I need you like a maid needs her newly-wedded husband,” I said, unashamed. “I want you so badly it hurts. I need to feel you, all of you, please. Please.”

I bit my lower lip and briefly closed my eyes, trying to collect myself. My heart was beating too quickly, my breath too heavy to concentrate. Aufidius looked at me with approval, clearly entreating me to continue begging. 

“I would do anything you asked, Aufidius,” I insisted. “I want to prove myself to you. I want you, please stop denying me. I’ve denied you for too long, denied that I want to be yours for too long. I need you. Please.”

Aufidius smirked and sorrowfully pulled his hands away from me. He left me leaning against the wall, utterly breathless and completely hard. He eyed me hungrily, unbuttoning his shirt as he raked his eyes over my naked form. I tried not to preen under his gaze, but I couldn't help myself from shifting, trying to disguise how thin and bony I had become. I let myself watch him, observe his deft fingers and rippling tattoos as he finished unbuttoning his shirt. He was obviously hard; I could see his bulging cock through the fabric of his trousers, straining the material. It sent a jolt of pleasure deep into my abdomen to know that he was just as aroused as I was. He sat on the bench where I had been minutes before and adjusted the bulge in his trousers, still keeping his eyes fixed on mine to show his casual dominance. 

“Then get on your knees.”

My mouth watered and I dropped to my knees as he requested. He smirked to himself, palming his hard cock over his trousers as I crawled over to him, my hands and knees digging into the rough floor. I kept my eyes fixed on his as I approached him, feeling more submissive and at his power than I had ever before. When I reached him, I sat back on my knees and placed my hands on his thighs. 

“Have you done this before?” Aufidius asked as he unbuckled his belt, over-emphasizing the action and letting out a pleasured groan when it was finally off. My gaze lingered on the belt hanging in his hand, wishing subconsciously that he would bind my wrists with it. My fingers flexed on his thighs as I itched to penitently show him my wrists and beg him to bind me. 

“Not since I was a boy,” I replied, my eyes still locked on the belt. “Military school. All boys. You know how it is.”

“I do,” Aufidius said roughly. He must have caught my gaze on his belt because he looked from me to the belt in his hand and back again, an incredulous smile on his face. “Later, Martius. I need you to use your hands _and_ your mouth.”

I swallowed, nodded, and looked before me once again. I fumbled with the button, the zip; Aufidius’ cock was hard and hot beneath my hand. I tugged on the waist of his trousers and underwear, and he helped me push them down to his ankles. His thick cock jutted from his body, red and flushed; he was uncut. I couldn’t help but stare at it until I felt his hand on the back of my head urge me forward. I inhaled, slowly and through my mouth, and sucked the tip of his cock into my mouth. 

Aufidius moaned and pushed my head farther onto his cock, I choked for just a moment, drooling and gasping for air as he closed off my throat. It felt awkward at first, my mouth and hand fumbling to find a rhythm that Aufidius would enjoy. My nose and eyes stung with tears as I took him farther, and I removed my hand so that he could go deeper, so that the tip of my nose was tickled by his pubic hair. I tried to move back, wanting to feel each vein on my tongue, but he held me there with that powerful hand of his. I screwed my eyes shut, trying to keep the tears at bay, as I sucked on him harder. He panted and heaved as my throat tightened around him. I felt his blood pumping through his cock, thrumming like electricity against my tongue. My tongue laved around as much of his thick cock as it could, my nose inhaling his musky scent— it was the smell of sex and expectation. I knew it well, could smell this on him when we wrestled last. 

Aufidius took his hand off the back of my hand, brokenly said _keep going, keep going, oh my Martius_ , and I looked up at him. Eyes wide with submission and need, with scalding tears streaming hot and red down my flushed cheeks. Heart beating rapidly like the wings of a frightened hummingbird. Being on my knees before him made me hungry. I looked up at his face and saw a man with his head thrown back in utter bliss, his mouth open and breathing heavily. I moved my head back and forth, my hands firmly on his knees, and then he looked down. Our eyes met and I saw his steely blue eyes widen with lust at the sight of me, with my mouth full of his cock. 

“I will come if you keep looking at me like that,” Aufidius said with a breathy chuckle, clearly trying not to moan too loudly. His hips bucked slightly into my mouth— I could tell he was getting close. Even though he was in pieces, destroyed and on the brink of coming, at the workings of my mouth on his cock, his immense power over me still made me feel so small. Still unbelievably at his mercy. And it made me feel _good_ , it made me feel _amazing_. It just felt so freeing. 

And then Aufidius pulled my head back from his cock and let me breathe. I gasped and sighed in relief as cold air filled my lungs, resting my head against his bare thigh as we both tried to regain some relative composure. The tears had stopped, but my emotions were still at a high, overwhelming me entirely. My lips probably looked puffy, red, and spit-slicked from letting him fuck my mouth. Nonetheless, Aufidius lovingly stroked over the top of my bare head, his rough fingers gentle and caring. I felt so secure with him there, seated above me. His hands on my bare skin. Him wanting me. 

“Do you want me there, against the wall? On my hands and knees, on the ground?” I asked him, looking up at him through my lashes, still bleary with tears. 

“No,” Aufidius said bluntly. “I want you in my bed. I want you writhing in my sheets, twisting them in your hands, begging and begging for your release.” 

My throat betrayed me with a whimper. 

“But the thought of taking you here, forcing you into the ground with my senators only a room away,” Aufidius said, cocking an eyebrow in interest, “is equally intriguing.”

“Next time?” I asked eagerly, grabbing his hands with mine and slotting our fingers together. Aufidius smiled and squeezed my hands. 

“Next time.”

**Author's Note:**

> me, in ya brain: kudos/comment on this fic  
> you: but why  
> me, in ya brain: you gotta
> 
> ~Hunter


End file.
